Do We Really Have To Love Ourselves First?

first, love, energy, divinity, share, James Calderon, Positively James, inspiration, positive thinking, advice, life lessons

There are many cliches out there that nonchalantly get thrown around.  We tend to accept these one-liners without any serious thought and they eventually become collected and a part of our belief systems. Some examples include:

1. “Too much of a good thing is a bad thing.”

2. “This is the first day of the rest of your life.”

3. “The grass is always greener on the other side.”

4. “When one door shuts, another one opens.”

And the winner of the day…

5.“You have to love yourself first before you can love anyone else.”

Don’t get me wrong, most cliches sound good.  That’s probably why they’ve become so overused throughout time. These cliches can hold truth as well, but I think that depends on the person who decides if that’s the case or not.  My beef, however, is with the last cliche. I mean do we really have to fully love ourselves first before we can love another?

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Wouldn’t Change A Thing!

For those who have been following my journey from the get, you already know that music has always been my original passion. I continue to be humbled by all your love and support.  It certainly has been a ride and I thank you for sticking by me. I wouldn’t change a thing!

For those who have just joined us, you’re in for a treat. Means a lot that you’ve come aboard and will allow me to share my journey with you. I think you’ll find that we are more connected than we know. This Positively James thing somehow makes my life count. One word at a time I suppose. Yet, it’s something I began for all of us. It’s something I created in hopes to get people thinking, feeling and living better. I am beyond blessed to be able to share this process with you by putting all my God given talents to the test. So without any further ado, I give you “James David!” Enjoy the music video!

Positively yours,

James “David” Calderon

Achieve Personal Freedom!

???NEW VIDEO PEOPLE!!???

Claiming our personal power and achieving personal freedom doesn’t have to be something only special people do. Each and every one of us has what it takes to do so! I put that on my mama!!!

If we’re willing to do the work, break through barriers and endure the struggle then by all means we can make it happen! More now than ever the world needs people like you and I to come ALIVE!!!

Do it for yourself and do it for humanity! ?️‍??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Freedom vs Fear…Who you Betting On?

freedom, fear, action, alignment, dreams, goals, achievement, James Calderon, Positively James, advice, positivity, thoughts“Greatness belongs to those who have mastered their internal world.”

~Brendon Burchard

Haha!!! Oh man, let’s get real, how close are we to mastering our internal world?  How do we know we have? Well, let me first tell you, I am far from having mastered my internal world.  How do I know? I still make unconscious (automatic) decisions based on old fears. Fears that conjure up thoughts of worry and give me a sense that I may not be enough.

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Why Kindness Can Change Your Mood and Your Life

kindness, serotonin, moods, life, advice, positivity, James Calderon, Positively James,

I’ve been noticing that there are more and more people becoming inspired by what I do. Some have even been inspired to the point they’ve begun to take steps toward their passions or calling.

As an influencer, there is nothing that jazzes me up more than hearing or seeing this.  It’s even better when they reach out and ask for help. Why? Because I remember being in their shoes not too long ago.  I remember searching for people who were doing what I wanted to do. I also remember how grateful I was for their assistance and kindness along the way. In some way or form they changed my life for the better♥

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It Really Does Take A Village

village, father's words, friends, families, love, speech, graduation, grandparents,

It really does take a village.

First and foremost, on behalf of everyone here, I’d like to congratulate Jayda and Isabella on a job well done! You’ve endured the valleys of of this journey and have reached the peak of this chapter in your life. And if I might add, you’ve done it with both grace and elegance and we couldn’t be more proud of you two!

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A Letter To The Reincarnated Me

 

soul, reincarnation, letter, positivity, gift, advice, James Calderon, Positively James

Dear James,

My bad, your name probably isn’t James. We have the same soul, but not the same name, I’m sure. For all I know, you’re a woman or maybe even an animal of some sort.  I heard the Divine likes to switch things up a bit.

You won’t remember me or the life I lived. I mean you shouldn’t.  This is your time now. The only thing we have in common is the soul you now possess. My body once harbored the soul your body harbors now.  Breathe. I know this is a lot to take in.

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Is Bigger Really Better? You Decide!

bigger, better, minimalism, minimalists, simple, happiness, freedom, conscious, James Calderon, Positively James

Is BIGGER really better?

The other night I had trouble getting to sleep because the air was thick with an oppressive warmth I was not used to.  Out here in Redding, Ca., we don’t get much of a Spring.  It goes from cold and rainy to 80 degrees real quick. I like to think of myself as a seasoned individual, wise enough to know that when I can’t fall asleep as quickly as I would like to, it’s time to get out of bed and get busy doing something.  It’s far better than lying there in bed worrying about things that most likely will never happen.  Don’t do it to yourself!

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Somewhere Along The Way We Traded In For Comfort

blog, article, positivity, somewhere along the way, advice, inner child, adventure, explorer, James Calderon, Positively James

Somewhere along the way we traded in for comfort.

Growing up, my imagination, which was usually shared with my closest cousin (brother), led us on all kinds of adventures. I remember an old abandoned trestle behind our house.  This is where our imagination seemed to roam free the most. One day, we’d be explorers using whatever we could get our hands on to lacerate any bush in our way.  The next day, we’d be hopping from garage roof to garage roof as stealthy as possible.  Probably because we just watched some movie that involved some characters doing the same.  We were funny like that. We never really needed to know where a path was going to lead us.  Most of the time we created our own path.

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Hello Fear, I See You, But I’m Doing It Anyway

fears, fear, courage, questions, James Calderon, PositivelyJames, response,

I’m afraid of failing. There, I said it. My fear has now been exposed and been brought to the light.  I’m afraid of failing. I’m afraid of failing at fatherhood.  I’m afraid of failing to be a good husband.  I’m afraid of failing to live out my dreams. I’m afraid of failing to provide for my loved ones.  I’m afraid of failing you. I’m afraid of failing my future self.  I’m afraid of failing at a lot of shit.

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True Friendship: Shout-Out To The Real Ones!

friendship, true friendship, real, honesty, forgiveness, cherish, love, James Calderon, Positively James, Speaker, writer

“A good friend is like a four-leaf clover; hard to find and lucky to have.”

~ Irish Proverb

True friendship is hard to come by. So when you find it, cherish it.

Shout-out to the real ones.  Shout-out to our true friends. Shout-out to the friends who show up for us no matter what.  Shout-out to the ones who are too busy to be there, but make time for us anyway.  Shout-out to the friends who provide soulful renewal to our minds and hearts, and to the ones who pick up right where we left off.  Shout-out to the ones who instead of judging us, love us for all we are.  Shout-out to the ones who put themselves in our shoes, and to the ones who take action and try to help us solve our problems.

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Our Days Are Literally Numbered

days, life expectancy, inspire, advice, motivation, James Calderon, Positively James

Our days are numbered. Literally. According to the OECD, the average person lives 79 years. U.S. men on average live 76 years and U.S women live 81 years. Now of course there are factors that play a huge role in life expectancy like health awareness, poverty, education, environment, stress and much more. However, this is not an article about statistics and I will not be informing you about life expectancy and all that it entails. This is an article about how death can perhaps inspire us all to live better lives.

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If You Would Just Shut Up For A Minute

shut up, listen, advice, personal, encouragement, story, James Calderon, Positively James

“When you talk, you are only repeating what you already know. If you listen, you might learn something new.”

~Dalai Lama

You reached out to me. Maybe to vent and that’s fine. Maybe you just needed an ear. We all do sometimes.  All good.  Don’t mind holding space for you.  What bugs me, however, is you don’t come up for air, honey child. I really just want to tell you to shut up.

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Dear Father, Where Were You When I Needed You?

father, letter, pieces, needed, advice, James Calderon, Positively James, personal development, forgiveness

*This letter changes tense frequently. Some moments I was right there.

Dear Father,

Where were you when I needed you?

I remember bits and pieces of a time when you were in my life.  It’s like a broken plate that has been smashed on the ground and I could only find bits and pieces. It’s like I’ve spent my entire life trying to find the other pieces in efforts to gain more of an understanding of you. Of me. Of us.

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Respect The Heart(Relationship Tips)

?NEW VIDEO ALERT?

I’ve always been intrigued by the heart, so I recently embarked on a little research journey to understand the heart a little more. What I learned along the way was mind blowing and a little spooky, but in a good way.

Enjoy the video. I’ve also taken the liberty to add a couple RELATIONSHIP TIPS upon request.
Hope you find some value in this message.

Keep thinking, feeling & living better!

Positively yours,
James

 

Sometimes We Have To Learn The Heart Way

heart, HeartMath, inspiration, intuition, listen, advice, James Calderon, Positively James

“I believe that the heart is the most forceful and impactful element in our lives.”

~Maya Angelou

Most of us know that the heart is a muscular organ that pumps blood throughout  the circulatory system. Deep down, however, I believe many of us know that the heart does much more than that. Ever hear of a woman’s intuition? Of course you have. The skill to navigate through life beyond just using our senses has been something accredited to women for centuries.

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Self-Awareness Is A Great Place To Start

self awareness, advice, James Calderon, Positively James, real,

“Knowing others is wisdom; knowing yourself is enlightenment.”

~Lao Tzu

Make no mistake, we are all magnificent beings. We may not be able to understand the vast orchestration of the universe, but we can sure appreciate and marvel at all it’s magnificence. We are a part of this magnificent whole. It is good to remind ourselves from time to time that we are worth marveling over too. However, this is not the time.

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When Will We Heed The Call To Greatness?

greatness, call, hero, journey, James Calderon, Positively James, advice, inspiration,story, heed the call to greatness,

There is something about greatness. We’re attracted to greatness.  You know why? I believe it’s because we have greatness in all of us. Like attracts like, right?  However, we don’t always heed the call to greatness. Many of us cater to our logical side, which likes to keep us comfortable in familiar territories. Rarely do we explore the magnificent possibilities this world has to offer.

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Laughter In One Hand And Love In The Other

love, laughter, inspiration, motivation, James Calderon, Positively James, blog, blogger, positivity
Courtesy of TMT Photography

“All you need in the world is love and laughter. That’s all anybody needs. Love in one hand and laughter in the other.”

~August Wilson

When you text, “LOL” are you really laughing out loud? If not, then you probably should a little more. Time and time again, I have heard that laughter is the best medicine. After a little research, I’ve come to know that laughter has many benefits.

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If You Want Different Results, Do Something Different

 different, insanity, change, same, results, James Calderon, speaker, writer, life-coach, Positively James, positivity, motivation, inspiration

Albert Einstein hit the nail right on the head when he shared his definition of insanity. I, for one, think it is, till this day, the best definition of insanity ever.

Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

~Albert Einstein

About three weeks ago, I walked into the gym and found myself overwhelmed by the amount of people in the gym.  After a few minutes it hit me; it’s January! Every year, in the month of January, a new swarm of people come into the gym with resolutions to become healthier, or shed a few pounds. The things is, by the end of the month, the gym is once again filled with only the regulars.

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On The Other Side Of Fear (Audio)

Fear seemed to be a friend that was just misunderstood. I learned it was ok to feel fear, but not ok to let it hinder me.”

Here is an audio worth listening to. It’s not so much that we don’t know about dealing with fear, pain and struggle, but rather we just need to be reminded about the beauty each one has to offer our lives every once in a blue. It is very much an honor for me to be the one to remind others. I love my job. Enjoy!

 

It’s Just The Way Life Is Set Up

life, pain, struggle, fear, faith, beauty, greatness, James Calderon, Positively James

It’s just the way life is set up.

There are a few things in life that I am completely sure about. For starters, the only thing that’s constant in life is change. Second, love makes this ride we call life, worthwhile. Finally, much of the amazing things in life are usually on the other side of fear, struggle and pain. If you don’t mind, I’d like to delve into the last of those certainties I mentioned above.

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Medley Of Inspiration

Years ago my aunt told me something worth listening to.  She said, “James, on your way to inspiring others, do not forget to inspire yourself.” Every now and then I reflect on the past; a sort of looking back if you will. My only reason for doing this is to see how far I’ve come. I’ve come a long way and still have further to go.

Below is a video medley from past videos I’ve produced and I have to say, I became inspired once again. Whenever I experience these special  kind of moments I know I am on the right track and heading in the right direction. Enjoy my friends…enjoy! And THANK YOU for allowing me the honor of sharing my journey with you.

Positively yours, 

James

Judge Of The Universe Sounds Like A Crappy Job

judge, mistakes, James Calderon, Positively James, inspiration, motivation, encouragement, think, feel , live better

I have made some serious mistakes in my life. I’m talking full on blunders, oversights, miscalculations and faux pas. I’ve made some choices that have not only hurt others, but also myself as well in the long run.  Sometimes the worst hurts are from the mistakes we keep beating ourselves up about.  It’s not easy being the judge of the universe.  As a matter of fact, I quit and I recommend you do too.

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Martin Luther King, Jr. : For The Rule Of Love

Martin Luther King, Jr., courage, sacrifice, dream, James Calderon, Positively James, rule of love, inspiration, motivation

“ I have the audacity to believe that people’s everywhere can have three meals a day for their bodies, education and culture for their minds, and dignity, equality, and freedom for their spirits.”

~Martin Luther King, Jr.

As I was enjoying a lazy Sunday watching 80’s movies and much of the nation was stuck on the Packers and Cowboys game, my youngest reminded me that January 15 is the true birth date of Martin Luther King, Jr. Thanks little monster.

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Show Up And Let Yourself Be Seen

If you choose to dare greatly, you can be sure you will meet cynicism and a whole lot of criticism. Sometimes there is important feedback in criticism, but what we don’t want to do is over identify with what the critics are saying. Choosing to be seen, truly seen, takes some serious courage. In my experience, there is not a better feeling than waking up every morning knowing I have the courage to show up in the arena of life. Theodore Roosevelt once said:

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man/woman who points out how strong the man/woman stumbles, or where the doer of the deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man/woman who is actually in the arena…” Theodore Roosevelt

 

There was much more to this famous speech, but I believe you get the gist of it.

Show up my friends.

Positively yours,

James

 

Who Gets All The Credit When It Comes To Our Kids?

 

“It’s amazing what you can accomplish when you do not care who gets the credit.”

~ Harry S. Truman 

I would first like to say my mom did one hell of a job raising me. Sure there were some special teachable moments along the way, but what I appreciate the most is the fact that she was there. No matter how messy it got, she just showed up.  She still does.

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Belonging vs. Fitting In

Recently my youngest daughter and I had a great conversation about belonging vs. fitting in. It’s not always easy to hear about her struggles with her friends, but I am very well aware that a little struggle is good for her(next blog). We talked about what it meant to have a sense of belonging, as well as the downfalls of trying to fit in. We both left the conversation feeling confident that staying true to “thine own self” is always the best route to take no matter how difficult it may be at times. I figured I would let her tell you about it this time around. Enjoy my friends and remember keep thinking, feeling and living better.

Positively yours,

James

Staying True To You Shouldn’t Be So Hard

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”

~Ralph Waldo Emerson

One of the hardest things to do in this world is remain true to yourself. In this day and age, everywhere we turn, it seems like we have someone or some system trying to sell us an easy button, the next best thing, or the secret to success.  Look like this, acquire this, and you will be happy.  We all fall for it too.

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My Heavy Heart (Video)

It may come off like I handle this life thing well. I usually get up out of bed and get my butt to the gym. I am graciously able to smile at my partner and kids, as well as shower them with love. I am able to smile at the average person, as well as hold a door open for others. We need groceries? I’m on it! I even find time to somehow stress on matters that don’t really matter. And evidently, I’m able to box out some time to create a decent blog post from time to time. I can do all this and more, but the truth is, lately I do all this with a heart that feels heavy. Here is why.

My Heavy Heart

Hey Heart, James Calderon, Positively James, Syria, children, parents, philanthropy, donation, brothers, sisters

“ A mind that is too easy holds a heart that is too heavy.”

~Franz Schubert

It may come off like I handle this life thing well.  I get up out of bed and get my butt to the gym. I am graciously able to smile at my partner and kids, as well shower them with love. I’m able to cook for myself and others. Laundry still gets washed and folded.  I’m still able to smile at the average person, as well as hold a door open for others. We need groceries? I’m on it. I even find time to stress a little on matters that don’t really matter. And evidently, I’m still able to box out some time to write and create a decent blog post from time to time. I can do all these things and more, but the truth is, lately I do all of this with a heart that feels as heavy as a paper weight.

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Not My Favorite Kind Of Talks

Tough Talk, James Calderon, Positively James, love game, reflection, talk, daughter, daddy, fatherhood, mentor, speaker, motivational artist

Being a parent comes along with all sorts of challenges. One of the greatest challenges we face as parents is when we see our children engaging in poor behavior. My first thoughts are usually, “Why is she behaving like this? Where is this coming from?  What is she trying to communicate to us?” There are also times when I know where the behavior is coming from, but the reason really doesn’t warrant her behavior. That’s when I know a difficult talk is in the very near future for us both.

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Be An Encourager

There are far too many naysayers in this world that feel the need to bestow upon you their “be realistic” speech. It is my belief they didn’t receive too much encouragement from the people who mattered most along their journey. Or perhaps they were encouraged to fulfill someone else’s needs and wants for them. Now is the time to break the mold and encourage someone to keep working toward living a life of passion. So, be an encourager!

Encourage A Mofo

James Calderon, Positively James, encouragement, positive, positivity, encourage, blog, blogger, speaker, mentor

“Treat a person as they are and they will remain as they are. Treat a person as what they could be and they will become what they should be.”

~Jimmy Johnson(Calderon Remix)

The Thanksgiving holiday brought along more than just full bellies and miles on the vehicle. Every time I set out to see family for the holidays I always come back with a fresh new perspective on life. Let me paint the picture.

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There Are Two Ways To Live Your Life

Albert Einstein, James Calderon, Positively James, miracle, everything, blog, life coach, virtual mentor, wisdom,

“There are two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle.  The other is as though everything is a miracle.”

~Albert Einstein

I was astonished by the many definitions there are for the word, “miracle.” Here were a few:

1.Miracle -An extraordinary event manifesting divine intervention in human affairs.

2. Miracle -An extremely outstanding or unusual event, thing or accomplishment.

3. Miracle -A divinely natural phenomenon experienced humanly as the fulfillment of spiritual law.

4. Miracle –Such an effect or event manifesting or considered as a work of God.

Of all these definitions, I seem to be drawn to definition number three.

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Divorce Sucks Until It Doesn’t

divorce, nation, stages of grief, hope, anger, reconstruction, James Calderon, Positively James, Speaker, Life Coach, Mentor, inspiration, motivation

Never underestimate your power to change yourself.

Never overestimate your power to change others.

~Dr. Wayne Dyer

What an interesting week eh? With the presidential election being over, it seems like the collective consciousness has finally reared it’s ugly head. On one side we have people gloating over the win of their desired candidate, and on the other side we have people grieving over the loss their party has experienced.

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Say No, So You Can Say Yes

James Calderon, Positively James, Say no to say yes, blog, blogger, entrepreneur, yes, greatness, mentor, speaker, life coach

“Say yes to what enhances your life and the world around you.”

~Regina Brett

These days we are so easily accessible to the very many needs of others. Think about it.  Between emails, texts and social media we are open game to anyone who wants to get a piece of us. Sometimes we say yes way too much to these people.  Most of the time it’s because we have a fear of what people might think of us if we tell them no.

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Would You Invite Donald And Hillary Clinton To Dinner?

politics, system, two parties, broken, human spirit, dinner, Hillary Clinton, Donald Trump, James Calderon, Positively James, speaker, mentor, life coach.

George Washington warned us over 227 years ago that a party leader would be prone to pursue their own agendas to the purposes of their own election, on the ruin of public liberty.

I think he was spot on in predicting the weather of our political system. First, I must say I am not a political guy.  Politics has never really tickled my fancy.  As you may know if you know me, or are a part of the Positively James community, I’m very much into the brilliance of the human spirit.

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Do You Think For Yourself?

NEW VIDEO ALERT!
*Click on HD setting and enjoy the viewing

Shout out to Brandi Nicole Minter for joining me in this mind opening video.

Are you thinking for yourself?

You see almost everything you believe to be true and/or false has been passed down to you from family, community, culture, etc.

Are you really thinking for yourself? Because if you are then you are operating from the truest part of you. If not, then you are operating from what’s been passed down. Other people’s thinking.

Whatever it is you believe to be true and/or false creates your reality. Time to get real with yourself. If you’re not thinking for yourself then what can you do to change that?

Think Great, Live Great

drama, positive thought, negative thought, choice, intentions, attention, James Calderon, Positively James, speaker, mentor, life coach

Oh, the dramas of the world.  If it’s not on social media, television or Netflix then it is the circles around us. If it’s not in the circles around us, it is in our heads.  Now some dramas are entertaining. I don’t do television, but I sure love me some Netflix. Some dramas on the other hand are draining like the kinds on social media, or the ones that seem to creep in our lives by the very people we might care for most.  However, most of these kinds of dramas can be avoided with the one awesome power we have. Choice.

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More Of You

There are over 8 billion people in the world and not one of them is like you. Why do you think that is? Why do so many of us go out of our way to be something or someone we are not? My friends, what the world needs more of is YOU. That is who you have come here to be. I want to encourage you to dig deep and supply the world with the authentic YOU. Besides, everyone else is taken,right? Trust who you are and who you are becoming. Enjoy the video!

Positively yours,

James

Do You Have The Courage To Change?

WARNING: This video might change your life! The only permanent thing about life is change. Everything about life is always changing.  Just think about the rhythm of traffic and the seasons and just the cycle of life altogether. Change is constantly occurring. A wise man once said, “Breakdown has to come before breakthrough.” So my friends, I invite you to embrace change in your life. Let the NEW enter your life and watch the magic unfold. Enjoy the video!

Good Vs. Bad You Make The Call!

Trials, disappointments and all the other stuff that can kick our butts from time to time can actually be more of a help than a hindrance.  It all depends on how we look at them.  All it takes is a certain mind shift.  Perspective can make all the difference in the world when dealing with the woes of today.  It’s a choice though.  We have to be willing to look deeper and see that every trial we endure strengthens our spirit and polishes up our character as well. Enjoy this video as I share a story about a farmer who endured some trials, but in the grand scheme of things it was ALL good.

A Letter To My Daughter

Jayda Calderon, James Calderon, Positively James, letter to my daughter, daddy diaries, blog, father, daddy,

Dearest daughter,

I knew this time would come.  It seems like it was only yesterday your mom called me at work to let me know her water broke. I drove like Batman weaving in and out of traffic to get to her, so I could help bring you into this world. I remember holding you and singing to you for an entire hour while the doctor and nurses cared for your mom. I knew right then and there that my life would be forever changed for the better. With just a blink of an eye you are now only days away from becoming a teenager. The BIG 13!

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Dopamine Can Change The Game

dopamine, new, exciting, James Calderon, Positively James, blog, virtual mentor, motivation, inspiration

Ever wonder why some people are able to retain information a little better than others? Recently I learned that in order for people to retain information, there is a chemical in the brain that needs to be present. This chemical my friends is dopamine. According to the Urban Dictionary, dopamine is the kick ass chemical in your brain that makes you feel and do happy things… whatever they may be.

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3 Ways To Handle The Negative Nancy

James Calderon, Positively James, negative, negativity, vampires, negative people, virtual mentor, blog, life coach

Jill is an easy going kind of girl. She almost always goes above and beyond for her friends. She’s usually the only one who smiles in the grocery store and keeps her co-workers steady laughing with her infectious humor. Everything she does usually has a positive purpose. She pretty much brings the light wherever she goes and always leaves a place better than when she found it.  Now unless you happen to be a Scrooge McDuck, most people love having people like Jill around.

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Discovering Your Love Language

For a while myself and my significant other struggled to understand how each one of us operated from not only a relationship standpoint, but also from an emotional standpoint.
To better understand each other, we decided to dive deep into the book, “The 5 Love Languages” to help us better understand how each of us “ticks”.
Now, let me be clear. Our relationship is far from perfect, but what we have found as of recently on our relationship journey is that in order for us to survive, we must first understand what each one of us needs from one another.
I know so many couples who have given up on their relationships and possibly too soon for that matter. It is my hopes that this video sheds some insight of how far you can go with someone you love if you dig deep into what their love language looks like.

Discovering Your Love Language

love language, relationships, James Calderon, Positively James, virtual mentor, loveI am surprised my partner and I have made it this far. We’ve been together almost six years, and don’t get me wrong, most of it has been great, but like most couples we have struggled big time in the communication department. That is until recently.   I came across a book titled, The 5 Love Languages written by New York Times Best Selling author, Gary Chapman.  It was recommended by our couples counselor.  Yes people, counseling can work wonders if you find the right one.

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Self Care Alert

James Calderon, Positively James, self care, care, hustle, mentor, speaker, life coach

How do you nurture and care for yourself?

Just the other day, Erica and I were talking about how we’ve been lacking motivation. We just haven’t felt like doing much throughout the day lately.  I’m sure you have days when you just don’t feel like adulting, yeah? I don’t think adulting is a word, but I’m making it one anyway. As the conversation continued, we reminded ourselves that it’s going to get pretty crazy in our lives again  very soon.

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Born To Fly

So many of us lack the belief in ourselves, as well as the courage to go big and follow our dreams. I wouldn’t beat yourself up too much, I’ve been there. The system we are born into, though I don’t think it’s all bad, doesn’t exactly encourage you to chase your dreams. But there is something cool going on. There is an energy shift happening and it’s beautiful. More and more people are waking up and creating their own avenues and creating their own jobs…jobs that nourish the soul. I’ve always said if you have your heart set on being a doctor, lawyer or teacher, by all means go for it! We need them! However, if the thought of any of these type of careers don’t necessarily speak to your heart or fulfill you as it should, then maybe now is the time for you to awaken the giant within you. You just might surprise yourself. I know I have.

I Still Believe in Humanity

positive,James Calderon, Positively James, counterpunch, love, humanity

A little over a week ago, I found myself feeling down about the woes of our world.  I mean how can you not be with all the media coverage mirroring where we are currently at in our evolution as humans. I am very well aware that media is a big business and what is portrayed in the news has an agenda, which is usually to gain more ratings, which in turn means more money.  We may not always hear about it in the news, but there are people out there doing great things. Read on.

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Why Going The Extra Mile Goes Hand In Hand With Success

There’s no benefit in half assing your way through life. It’s imperative that you start to practice going the extra mile in every area of your life. This will help you push through any physical and mental boundaries you may have.

Put your heart in all that you do and if your heart isn’t in it then change what you’re doing, whether it’s a relationship, career or other. This will help fuel your soul and push you beyond the limits you thought were there.

The Extra Mile

extra mile, practice, James Calderon, Positively James, life coach, mentor, speaker, blog

If a man is to be a street sweeper, he should sweep the streets even as Michelangelo painted or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep the streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and Earth will pause to say, ‘Here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.’

-Martin Luther King

Going the “extra mile” in anything we do can make a big difference in our lives and in turn, make a difference in the lives of those closest to us. I believe that if we truly want to be successful in life, we should be willing to go the “extra mile.” From an economic standpoint, going the extra mile can bring favorable attention from those who are in a position to provide opportunities for advancement.  But the buck doesn’t stop there.

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Patience Equals Peace Pt. 2

We have all had moments in our lives when we quit something too soon because we didn’t see the fruits of our labor in the time frame we wanted. The truth is, you must keep a long term vision of where you are going instead of a short term one.
Patience empowers us, strengthens us and is the KEY to success in any area of our lives. We are all masters in progress, so embrace the journey and focus on becoming better.

Patience Equals Peace

patience, James Calderon, Positively James, think, feel, and live better, process

“Why is patience so important?  Because it makes us pay attention.”

-Paulo Coelho

So, I scoured the net to find a descent definition of “patience.”  The Cambridge Dictionary online was by far my favorite and most straight forward.

Patience is the ability to accept delay, suffering, or annoyance without complaining or becoming angry.  I think we most definitely live in a “right now” culture.  It’s just the way it is.  We need faster internet, movie streaming, food, shopping (thank you amazon), cab(uber) service, you name it! The truth is retailers bank big time from our impatience. I am not completely against impatience because sometimes I feel we need to make things happen, and sitting around waiting for it to happen is not always the best action to take.  My only problem with impatience is the short term thinking that it involves.

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Are You Being Honest With Yourself ?

It kills me that so many people are NOT content with their lives, and the sad part is the majority of people who are not content never come to a higher consciousness  to admit it.  The truth is, living isn’t simply going through the motions and accepting what life hands you.  What does that teach our kids or the people who look up to us? Nothing. There is a lot of time left to do what you really want to do in your life. Get to Work!

I Hear You, Bro

 friend, James Calderon, Positively james, dreams, success, purpose, life coach, blogger, entrepreneur

Just a few days ago I spoke with an old friend on the phone. I know, crazy right? I actually clicked on his name in my contacts, called him and we had a conversation.  Go figure. This friend of mine is someone I’ve known for a long time.  I’m talking we went to high school together.  We were not great friends back then, but as time progressed, so has our friendship.  He’s a pretty busy guy as so am I, so we don’t talk as much as I’m sure we both would like to.  Fast forward a bit, we had a great conversation.

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You’re Human

So many of us spend way too much time beating ourselves up, and let the mistakes we make keep us down. Who does that help? What does that change? You see, there are three things that we have control over in this life:

1. Our thoughts
2. The images we form in our heads
3. The action we take.

Please allow me the chance to remind you of how awesome you really are and what you could do to flip the script on your woes. This is not rocket science. It’s a choice to live on purpose.

You Could Call It An Open Letter

open letter, relationship, positive, Positively James, James Calderon, love, life coach, influencer, connector

Dear You,

It is important to me that you know how wonderful you truly are. I know it has been ridiculously busy and life has been somewhat overwhelming for both of us. The world has succeeded in pulling us in many directions, which in turn has kept us not all here; even when we are next to each other.  The stress levels have been at an all time high.  I believe this has caused us, but maybe more me, to focus on our faults, weaknesses and limitations.

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College: The Right Decision For You?

college, right decision, James Calderon, Positively James, blog, blogger, positive, positivity, life coach

WARNING: Moms and Dads, you may not want to read this.

I feel it is my duty to share with the youth today about the reality of success in the “real world.” First off, I’d like to say, congratulations to those who just graduated, or are about to graduate high school in 2016.  You are now among the 81% of high school graduates in the nation.  It might be more now, but according to the U.S. Department of Education’s National Center for Education Statistics, it’s somewhere around there.

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What Does It Mean To Live On Purpose?

purpose, James Calderon, Positively James, blogger, blog, life coach, thoughts, think, fell, live better

What does it mean to live on purpose? One of the phrases I use with my athletes is “Everything on purpose.” It’s sort of become our mantra for the season. For those of you who are not aware of what I coach, I coach pole vaulters for Track and Field.  There are some key steps in creating the perfect vault.  It takes speed, a good leap, a driving knee, a fluid leg swing, core and upper body strength and finally, finesse. For all this to come together to be a successful vault, one has to do every single one of these steps on purpose; with pure intention.  There can be no half-assing in any of these steps, otherwise, the vault cannot be successfully done.  You might get lucky every once in while and get over the crossbar, but that doesn’t make it a perfect vault.  I don’t teach my athletes to just get over the bar.  I teach them to fly. In order to do this, everything needs to be done deliberately.  I feel the same way about life.  In order to be truly successful in life, which to me is just being happy and content, everything we do has to be on purpose.

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My Gratitude Video

I am seriously so humbled and grateful for all of my readers, subscribers, friends and family for all their support with Positively James. The message to Think, Feel and Live Better is getting out there and I couldn’t be more jazzed. I thank you all again for allowing me to share my journey with you. Keep putting your best thoughts forward.

Positively yours,

James

Whatever Happened To My Lunch Box?

good old days, childhood, lunchbox, James Calderon, Positively James, blog, blogger, think, feel, alive better

Ahhh, the good old days.  The days when responsibility was just a word heard at the dinner table. I’m talking about the days when the only hat I wore was a blue Little Slugger hat.  It was a common accessory to my Osh Kosh BGosh overalls of course.  Life was so simple then.

I remember the days when people loved me the second I walked in a room and bombarded me with hugs and kisses, and an occasional cheek squeeze. Wasn’t a fan of the cheek squeeze, however.  Now that I think about it, I don’t think I ever had my cheek squeezed.  Sounded cool though. My aunt Cookie, however, used to squeeze my ears between her fingers. Ahh, the good old days.

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When People Drop a Deuce On Your Dreams

James Calderon, Positively James, blogger, blog, life coach, entrepreneur, dreams, visionary, dreamer

Well, hello there my fellow readers, dream chasers and intentional living humans! Always nice to take a pause from the cray cray and do the two-step with you guys. Alright, let’s get to it!! As I mentioned in my last post, there are always two sides of the coin in this world of duality.  In my last post, however, I was talking about the givers and the takers.  Today we are talking about the naysayers and the one’s who support our dreams.

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Forget About The Joneses

James Calderon, Positively James, The Joneses, happiness, happy, compare yourself to others, blog, blogger, life coach

Why do we have this need to compare ourselves to others?  You do it.  I do it.  We all do it.  Sometimes we do it and it makes us feel like crap.  Other times we do it because it makes us feel like we are superior over others.  Oh yeah, we sure do like to judge others just so we can feel better about ourselves. Breathe.

Truth is, I don’t think any of of these reasons for comparing myself to others has ever made me a happier person.  You? Didn’t think so.

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This Magic Moment

Power of Now, present moment, happiness, Positively James, James Calderon, blog, blogger, life coach

Many of us believe there are a few more things to do or conditions that need to be met before we can be happy.  I am one of these many people. Much of my mental dialogue has gone like so:

“When I become successful, then I will be happy.”

“Once I am done paying off this debt, I will be happy.”

“When the kids get older, it will be easier.”

Sound familiar?

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Are You Fighting The Good Fight?

 

the good fight, blog, Positively James, James Calderon, encouragement, life coach

Are you fighting the “good fight?”  Perhaps you may not even know what the “good fight” is. The phrase originally came from the King James version of the Bible.  It seemed to be a call to spread Christian faith.  I’ve heard the phrase throughout my life a myriad of times.  However, it wasn’t until I read The Alchemist, written by Paulo Coelho that the phrase resonated with me.

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Because Sometimes You Just Need To Hear It.

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You, my friend, are amazing.  You are beyond amazing. You make lives better.  You are perfect just the way you are.  There is only one you.  There is no one in this world like you. You were meant to be.  You were intended to live the life of your dreams and that is what you do or will do.  You matter.  You make a difference.  You are happiness.  You have unique qualities and talents and share your special gifts with the world.  I appreciate you.  You appreciate you.  You express yourself in ways that bring more love, joy, hope and laughter into people’s lives.  Breathe.

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Are You Shackled To The Pains Of The Past? Forgiveness Could Be The Key

Forgiveness, forgive, pain, shackles, Positively James, James Calderon, blog, blogger, positive thinking, think better, feel better, live better“Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”

~Mahatma Gandhi

Are you still shackled to the pains of the past?  Having a hard time finding joy in the present because of something that  happened in the past?  If so, find peace in knowing you are not alone.  There are many people in the world that face these same obstacles in life…including me.  Truth is for me,  It hasn’t always been easy to forgive, especially in dealing with matters of the heart.

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Why Support Networks Are Muy Importante!

James Calderon, Positively James, Support Network, Blog, Blogger,

Support networks are muy importante on this journey we call life. Who do you have in your corner?

As I sit here on the eve of my birthday, I am filled with tremendous gratitude for the people I have in my corner.  I celebrated my birthday last night with my parents, who made the effort to drive three hours just to take me out to dinner.  Alongside me to help celebrate, were my beautiful daughters and lovely partner, Erica.

I must admit I wasn’t very excited for this upcoming birthday for reasons I’m not quite sure of yet.  It sort of seemed like just another day this year.  However, sitting their at dinner, quietly taking in the experience, which I tend to do frequently, the day began to show me why it was a special day.  There I was, surrounded by the people who have been there for me through thick and thin.  There I was, surrounded by the people who love me no matter what.  They know the good and the bad, and they still show up for me.

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Listening To Your Own Advice…Gulp

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Listening to your own advice is not always the easiest thing to do.

Ever since I was young boy, I’ve had this ability to connect with people. I believe listening to them is what gave me my cutting edge.  I remember trying to solve relationship problems in the first grade during recess between young boys and girls with a bad case of puppy love. I would go back and forth, giving them advice on how to approach each other to seal the deal.  Sometimes I just did some patch-up work to reunite the two.  This all happened before I was even in a relationship myself…I mean, what did I know about relationships? They seemed to believe in me, so I started believing in me too. This went on for years.  People would come to me for all kinds of advice and still do.

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Breathing Back To The Basics

Positively James, James Calderon, positivity, positive, blogger, blog, breathing, essence

I asked you to share this journey with me to becoming the best versions of ourselves, so it’s only right I share the woes too, right?  I have to say, last week sucked! My health was sub par as I battled a sore throat and congestion. A few things went down at work that left a bitter taste in my mouth, and it has been non-stop raining for almost two weeks. I really shouldn’t complain about the rain because we seriously need it and haven’t had much of it over the past couple years.  Needless to say, it still affected my mood and was sort of the icing on the cake to a crappy week.

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Dawn Of The Kick-Ass Father

father,Positively James, James Calderon, fatherhood, positivity, positive, blogger, blog

Just recently a friend had texted me, asking  what were the most important things to keep in check as a father. At first, I was a little stumped because, well, this is not something I think about often. First and foremost, I was flattered he asked me.  It’s nice to feel like there are some things you do well and others take notice. Anyway, we had a nice conversation and I was delighted to catch up with an old pal.  However, I left the conversation feeling like this should be a topic of discussion among many, if not all fathers. A discussion about what you ask? You know—HOW TO BE A KICK ASS DADDY! So I came up with a few tips in efforts to help papas near and far and from all walks of life.

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Change; No One Said It Would Be Easy To Do

 

Change

Well, I was planning on writing about the importance of expression in all it forms until I was delightfully interrupted by a phone call.  This was no ordinary phone call; in fact, this was a call for me when everything thing else had to be put on pause. Yes, this person got it like that.  On the other end of the line, I could hear and sense a need to be heard and with no reluctancy, my ears and heart perked up.  The conversation that followed would then inspire me to write about change and how to embrace it.

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Why This Positively James Thing?

Positively James, james calderon, positivity,best version, success, blog, blogger

In order for me to answer the question,”Why this Positively James thing?” I have to answer the question, “Who is Positively James?”

So, let’s not waste anytime and get right to it!  Positively James is the super me. He is the best version of James and someone I aspire to be like in my lifetime.  Positively James is the evolved me. He is the hero of my story, the one who is able to transcend all the illusions of the ego.  He is the mastery of James Calderon. I long for the day when we become one.

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Just Like The Movies

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“What will they think of me must be put aside for bliss.”

~Joseph Campbell

This is a great time to be living! Now more than ever it seems like more and more people are waking up and taking heed to the call to follow their passion.  I am beside myself with how many talented game changers I see daily on my Instagram feed.  There are some awesome people out there doing some awesome things.  So what is it that makes these people move to the beat of their own drum? How are these people able to step away from the ordinary and into the extraordinary?

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Women Crush Wednesday #4: Marianne Williamson

Marianne Williamson

It is a grand honor and pleasure for Positively James to recognize the wonderful Marianne Williamson as our WCW this week!

Marianne is a spiritual author and speaker.  Six of her eleven books have been New York Times Best Sellers. Four of them have been #1.

Marianne has been an inspiration, as well as a hero of mine for quite some time now. I am proud to say I have her famous quote from her book, Return To Love, framed and hanging up in my daughters’ room, so they are reminded daily that playing small in this world helps no one!

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The Power Of Gratitude

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How often do you say ,”thank you” and truly mean it? Here’s another question: How often do you say, “thank you” just because it is the polite thing to do?

These days just about everyone expresses gratitude. Good thing, no? Let’s see; we say thank you when the waiter brings our food, when the clerk at the post office hands us a new book of stamps, and to pretty much anyone who provides us with any kind of “material goods to advice or information” as  author, John B. Waterhouse mentioned in the 5 Steps To Freedom.

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Every Journey Requires Courage

mohandas-karamchand-gandhi-67483_1920 courage-mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear or difficulty.

A few weeks ago I sat in a room with three other people.  One of these persons made it very clear to all parties included that they did not like me.  It was supposed to be a complaint meeting from a parent and I was there to just listen in hopes to understand this individual’s complaint about me, apologize for any misunderstanding, and go back to what I do best. It turned out to be so much more than that.  What I experienced over the next ten minutes would test my character like no other experiences ever have.

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